acasa ...

Era o vreme cand credeam ca 'acasa' e locul unde m-am nascut si am crescut.
Apoi am inceput sa cred ca 'acasa' e locul unde e familia mea si unde miroase a mancare gatita de mama. Toata lumea stie ca nu e nimic mai bun pe lume :)
Apoi 'acasa' a devenit locul unde am inceput sa cresc cu adevarat si unde mi-am ales prietenii care m-au ajutat sa devin ceea ce sunt.
Mai tarziu 'acasa' s-a transformat intr-o insula insorita plina de prieteni si timpuri prea frumoase...
Acum, 'acasa' e un oras mic, dar placut. Un oras in care ma simt o Gilmore. Un oras in care imi construiesc la propriu locul meu (asambland mobila de la iKea e fun, dar am invatat eu acum ca poate duce si la febra musculara :D).

Si totusi ... acasa sunt toate locurile astea. 'Acasa' e un sentiment, nu un loc.

Mult e dulce şi frumoasă ... limba românească

Scriu in româneşte pentru că pot :)
Am văzut în week-end 2 filme româneşti. Fără să pun pauză şi fără să adorm. Şi nu erau nici filme foarte interesante, nici nu era vreun actor foarte drăguţ pe acolo :) Erau exact genul de filme pe care acum puţină vreme mă chinuiam să le văd până la sfârşit. Iar dacă ajungeam să le văd până la sfârşit fără să le şterg pusesem măcar câteva pauze între timp.

Filmele româneşti mi se par triste. Uneori şi cele comice mi se par triste. Sunt prea adevărate, prea încărcate de emoţii ... poate pentru că le înţeleg prea bine.

Totuşi acum simt că o să văd o parte mare din filmele româneşti adunate. Mi-e dor să aud româneşte. Mi-e dor să îmi aud numele de familie 'Dineaţă' aşa cum ar trebuie să fie, cu toate diacriticele. Mi-e dor de sentimentul că pot să înţeleg tot ce vorbeşte lumea pe stradă. Cred că o sa zâmbesc multă vreme la amintirea revenirilor în ţară când realizam că lumea înţelege tot ce spun printr-o gafă pe care o făceam neintenţionat. Câteodată poate fi şi avantajos să poţi vorbi cu cineva fără ca altcineva să inţeleagă. :)

Unul din filmele pe care l-am văzut în week-end e 'Vis de Ianurie'. Filmul e bineînţeles dramă. Eu însă m-am amuzat să îmi aduc aminte de accentul moldovenesc. Cel care m-a distrat o vreme bună când am început facultatea în Iaşi, abia venită din Braşov.

O să continuu să văd filme româneşti. Poate nu o să le mai consider triste şi o să învăţ să le apreciez.

Până una alta încep cursurile de daneză curând :)

Driving in USA

I'm posting again from USA. Since now, this is the only place from where I felt I want to write something here. Maybe because here I am alone and what's even worse, I feel lonely. Somehow, it seems I need to get used with this feeling. But this is a different subject. I don't want to think or talk about it...

I just got back from Chicago. I'm here, in Illinois, for the 4th time. I feel Chicago like a very familiar town. And I like it a lot. But this is the first time I was there driving. And I loved it. Is crazy: buses for which I don't know the stops, cars going on 2 lanes, taxis always in hurry and almost all the time horning, changes of the lane in the last moment, cars stopped on the right lane and just left there (yeah, is not happening just in Cyprus like I thought :) )... Why did I like it? Because I got bored driving on the highway, just me and my CD with Natasha Bedingfield. Driving in Chicago I got the chance to enjoy the city even if the weather was awful. I saw the places I used to walk by. I saw the Trump building. Is the first time I realized at what am I looking, because I've seen it before. Is too big to miss it. :)

When I start driving, my first thought was 'why didn't I do that before? why did I wait so much till now?'. I'm sure you got that feeling at least once. This year, for me is the second time I get it. The first time was when I start snowboarding. I like both driving and snowboarding. And this is why few days back I drove almost 3 hours to Cascade Mountain, to enjoy the last day when the resort was still open for ski/snowboard. I also went visiting Elaine which was few miles away, in Champaign. This week-end I went to Cedar Rapids, in Iowa. Is the place where Grand Wood painted American Gothic. Maybe I was looking to see what inspired him on that area. But... again, a new proof of 'is not about the place, is about the people'. :) I was not impressed by the place...
About driving directions in USA, even if my directions from google maps seemed complicated, the idea is very simple: interstate roads named according to direction (east, west, north, south), and few exits... I didn't have either GPS or other person with me. If I could do it, anyone can. :)

Driving in USA was a learning experience and I enjoyed it as much as I could. Thank you, Ela! (like any girl, I named my rented car from here; Ela comes actually from the name of the car: Hyundai Elantra).

New Year Resolution

A new year came. Is time for new hopes, new dreams and new plans. And because disappointments come from expectations, I will try to be as realistic as possible. And this is why my resolution for 2008 are the following:
- this year I will smile. This is the most simple thing that can do so much. I will believe in the attraction law and according to it good things attract good things. Maybe not the whole universe will work to fulfill my plans, but I will start to believe that I can. And even if I am sad, nervous, disappointed, or just in the mood I will do my best to believe that it will be better.
- this year I will get my driving licence
- this year I will spend at least one of the holiday with my family (Easter or Christmas)
- this year I will see Egypt
- this year I will use my organizer the whole year, and not just when I am really messed up with my time management.
- this year I will wear skirts. Just because I can :)
- this year I will make the most of now (the Vodafone market really got me :) )

I think it should be enough resolutions. And one more. Last, but not the least, this year I hope it will be a great year for everybody. Mostly for the ones I care about, I hope it will be at least perfect :)

ID in America

Am ochelarii aburitzi, nasul rosu, mainile inghetate, papucii cam uzi de la zapada, blugii plini de zapada... e un moment in care un vin fiert, cu scortisoara, putin piper si mult zahar ar merge grozav. As avea tot ce imi trebuie, mai putin vin :) Pentru ca desi acum cateva zile am incercat sa cumpar, nu am reusit. Nu pare un lucru chiar greu, nu-i asa? Asa ziceam si eu.

Primul refuz de a cumpara o sticla de vin l-am primit in Anglia, pt ca 'I don't look like 21'. Nu aveam nici un id care sa imi dovedeasca varsta, dar aveam un prieten cu mine care l-a cumparat el pentru mine. De data asta povestea se rescrie in America, si nu sunt eu personajul principal. Am mers cu un coleg la cumparaturi. Mi-am scanat produsele inaintea lui, printre care si amicul Jack pe care am avut voie sa il cumpar pt ca aveam pasaportul la mine. Printre produsele lui Lucian era o sticla de vin, dar ID-ul pe care a vrut sa il foloseasca era carnetul de soferi. Act emis in Cipru, dar care pt ca este act international il folosea si in State. Tanti de la casa de marcat s-a cam speriat cand a vazut formatul actului, si a plecat cu el sa ceara parerea unei alte casiere. S-au intors amandoua si ne spun 'ne pare rau, dar nu va putem vinde vinul; trebuie sa aveti un document valid in SUA'. Mai mult decat mirata le spun 'documentul asta e un carnet de conducere folosit in acest stat.' Ea recunoaste problema 'but I can't read it'. Mai mult pt mine, bomban si spun ca asta nu ar trebui sa fie problema noastra. Iar pt ea, spun 'ok, nu mai conteaza... am sa cumpar eu vinul si gata'. Mirarea mi-a fost si mai mare la raspunsul lor 'pt ca produsul este deja refuzat, nu putem sa vi-l vindem nici dvs'.... Ha? You must be joking... Mai mult pt amuzamentul nostru, Lucian isi incearca norocul cu buletinul de Romania. Pana la urma, aveau nevoie de un document cu poza si cu data nasterii. Fetele s-au speriat si mai tare. Desi nu sunt certareatza din fire, reusisera sa ma cam enerveze.

Am tot respectul pt cluburile care nu permit persoanelor sub 21 de ani sa intre. Mi s-a intamplat sa fiu acceptata in Anglia intr-un club in care varsta minima era 25 de ani. Dar mi s-a intamplat si ca dupa un drum de aproape o ora pe o sosea tare alunecoasa sa nu pot intra intr-un club din Chicago pt ca nu aveam ID. Nu am nimic de comentat, e numai vina mea la faza asta. Insa nu am sa pot accepta ca raspuns 'As this is my shop, and there are our rules, this is the end of the conversation. ' Poate ca daca fetele astea ar fi auzit vreodata de Cipru sau de Romania, nu ar fi fost vreo problema... Nu vreau sa le cer insa prea mult. Au in fata un document cu poza, data nasterii, ba mai mult decat atat nu vor nici sa imi vanda mie vinul pt ca e deja refuzat...

No more comments. This the America I met.

Butterflies

I remember when I was little I used to ask lot of things. (now I'm supposed to be older, but this is not changed about me). One of the thing I asked my best friend's mother was 'what is love? how can you know when you feel it?' I was 10 when I asked that first time, and even now I don't think I know the answer :). She told me ' you will know what love is when your heart will beat faster than usual because of someone. You will know that is there when you will feel butterflies.'... Imagine my face when I heard that at 10 :)

Butterflies... so beautiful, so serene, so high, so careless... Yeap, I think this is the feeling.

A butterfly needs two healthy wings to fly. Sometimes it flies very high, but sometimes it can not fly at all. Sometimes one of the wings get hurt, but having the other one's help it can heal. But this kind of help needs to come at the right time, and not too late. I've seen some butterflies trying to fly with just one wing. But the end is not a happy one. The butterfly doesn't need to fly all the time. It needs time to rest also. But if it stays too long, is not able to fly again... This butterflies... doesn't seem like an easy thing.

I should try to summarize what I'm trying to say. To be honest, I have no idea...

Getting older I have even more questions about this subject. Is there any butterfly that lives forever? Shall we keep healing the wings even if they are keep hurting themselves? Or after the first sore, is better to let the butterfly die, because it will die anyway and the the pain is bigger later? It is so sad to see that sometimes not both of the butterfly's wings go in the same direction... Does it work the price of some dead butterflies till we find the one that flies with us no matter what? The only thing I'm sure about is the fact the butterfly is happy as long as it lives. And the feeling of a happy butterfly doesn't compare with anything.

American emotions

There used to be a time when entering into one American shop was annoying me. Because at the entrance of a shop there should be someone who’s smiling and asking how are you. Of course he/she doesn’t care about this, but is part of the job description. (I’m curious what those persons are filling in their CV about this experience: being a double bagger for _ ?) When you leave is the same ‘Bye, have a nice evening!’ Now I’m not annoyed anymore and I say back ‘Thanks. You too have a nice evening’. Because… how much a smile worth? A lot… I prefer this attitude to the ‘you cannot afford this, why are you bothering me?’ which I usually meet in some Romanian stores.

Americans say ‘I love you’. While waiting for some planes in airport, I had the chance to hear some phone conversations (I realized is personal, but when the person is near you, you can’t stop from hearing). The usual ending is ‘I love you. Take care! Bye!’ How many times did you say to your parents this? Me… few fingers are enough for counting. Why is that? I would like to say to them that I love them and I would love to hear it back. Not just for the family, but for my friends also. I guess we need to be strong and not emotional… But I don’t understand why… I’m sure you all can remember at least one scene from American movies when if one of the parents died, the sun/daughter is worried when he/she said last time ‘I love you’ to his/her parent. How many times did you see that in a Romanian scenario?

I was almost witness to a moment when a guy proposed to her girlfriend, in Rockefeller Center, Ne w York, a very crowded place. The people around join the moment and enjoyed with them. He wanted to say to the whole world that he loves her. And he didn’t need any actor to stage this moment for him (I won’t give names, but … I’m sure you all know that I’m thinking of someone’s caravan). And the people join the moment because they shared their happiness and not because they want to be on TV.

Again in airport, something filled my soul with emotions. I and Lucian (with whom I was to New York to his cousin) didn’t fly with the same airline. We bought the tickets at very close time, but because of some delay I needed to wait for him in NY’s airport for a while. There were some other people waiting. Parents were waiting their children, some young people were waiting theirs friends, husbands were waiting their half and one child with his father was waiting for the mother. The little child was keeping some flowers as big as him for his mother. He handed them to her and hardly made few steps. There are no words for the moment…

I don’t know if this was an ordinary hour in La Guardia airport, or it was all just because it was Thanksgiving. But that child waiting for his mother, seeing so many people hugging , hearing so many ‘I love you’…... is a full emotional picture that reminds me of NY/America.

I’m not attributing this moment to any nation. I’m taking people for what they are, and not for which nation are coming from. Still, I think that every country has some rules that you start feeling while living there…